Well, I admit, I haven't been much too honest with myself, let alone capable of making choices that will lead to my undoubted happy future, but I'm not that bad of a person. Yes, I have made several mistakes in my past (in relationships that is) but I don't regret them as much as I regret seeing them hurt by me [especially.] I know that I try too hard to make others as happy more than I would concern myself about what is truly best for me [by my own decisions], but I just can't help it sometimes. For those that I have hurt, I am truly sorry. I do believe that everyone I ever encountered deserve much better than me, in fact I believe that their should be no reason for anyone to be depression because of me. I detest myself of not understanding the kind of love that people want me to express, but hear me out when I say 'it is not out of my own selfish love that I give to people, but the fact that I want to show them the kind of love that they so wish to cherish'. I'm not much of a happy person but I know that I wouldn't want anyone else to pity me, therefore I am sorry if sometimes people do see me wearing my heart on my sleeves. I'll also admit one more thing though, and that is....I can't say that I never loved anyone as much as I did when I first entered my high school years. I'll never even forget the things that had happen with the two most important people [in high school that I had a relationship with]. I only pray and hope that they can receive the happiness that suits them more than having them burden the lost love they had with me. For I, will no longer be that one open hearted-person I use to be back in high school. I have made my decision on what I chose will eventually be my deserving for not following that of which I wish to live selfishly.